First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
