In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
