So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
