I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
nutella sex= disaster
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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