I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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