a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
