My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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