I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
