I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
