So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
