R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize