No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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