fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
NoShamevember. You game?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
