Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
