I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
