please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
