Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
