Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
