it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.