i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend