I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort