no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
