If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
