I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
