I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this will be a night to untag.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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