My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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