Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
