I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
