I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I came so hard my ears popped.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
