Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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