i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
