I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
