I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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