I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
