I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize