I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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