Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want to make a zoo with you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
