Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
