Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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