went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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