She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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