And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
