my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
