He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
