I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
