Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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