so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
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I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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