i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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