FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
