Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
