All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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