i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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