when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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