sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
