Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
