just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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