Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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