Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
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Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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