what day is it and did you see me today?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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