Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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