This girl is more easily done than said...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
