I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
