i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
